A new idea for an old song

[Riff_Lovely]

Hello everyone. I previously published a song in the making "Love is a dungeon"
I was not at all satisfied, so I changed it. The text is the same except for the chorus. I was really struggling with the bass line and I can't get an idea how to have the bass accompany me, some melody with the guitar, so I recorded something just enough to accompany me. If you have any ideas for bass and drums, that would be great. There are mistakes in playing and timing, but I didn't pay attention to that now, since it is still in the making. Look at it as an idea.


Love is a dungeon
I burn in its darkness
Chained with heavy chains
Condemned to eternity

Love is a dungeon
I can't hear the birds singing
And only when I close my eyes
I can see the light of day

REF.
Set me free
let my dreams go

VER
Love is a dungeon
They don't have a door that has a key
Without sky and sun
Shadows lurk from the walls

Love is a dungeon
Silence in the ears
Just the clanking of chains
I know the sun is shining outside

REF
Set me free
don't crush my dreams

Outro
Days are written on the walls in blood

[Riff_Lovely]

Last night I sent a recording to my friend, so he could hear and if he had any ideas for bass and drums. My friend told me that the guitar was too similar to one of the songs of a Croatian R&R band, so I decided to change it. My chords are G A# F, and their E G A lick is also not the same, but it is similar, but the guitar strumming and the timing of the lick is, so I decided to change it. I came up with this today.
This was recorded from the first attempt, so ignore mistakes and wrong timing. This is an idea, although I don't know in which direction it will go

[mklankin@hotmail.com]

Hi Riff,

There are some really good ideas in here and I especially like the change up at 3:22 (it's gorgeous musically) and how it returns back to the main part of the song.

Keep at this one!
M